How To Command More Respect From Other Men - The Man Up Show, Ep. 24



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For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their dating and love lives.

Once a nerdy, skinny professor of Asian philosophy who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, David is now director of Aura Transformation Corp., and a world renowned dating and life coach. Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, including AXN, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore. Formerly a professor at the National University of Singapore, Dr. Tian is actively researching, speaking, and publishing in the areas of philosophy and psychology.

The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man (,” is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group ( and answers based on his experience coaching ( tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade."

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In episode 24, I answer the question how to command more respect from other men.

[Intro music]

Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up.

[Fade music]

Hi, I’m David Tian and welcome to Man Up, episode 24. Got a question from Tim here in the private Facebook group: Hi David, as someone who looks way too young for his age, it’s hard to command respect until I’ve proven myself which works fine in a professional workplace and social circles but if I’m out at a bar, chatting with attractive women, I often have jealous, physically imposing dudes butting into our conversation and trying to out-dominate me. How can someone like me command respect, in general? Okay, so commanding respect. It’s good to earn respect, so he does that in his workplace and among his friends but on a first impression – basically what you’re asking is first impressions question. His first impression is that he is young and is able to be bullied or not taken seriously. It’d help to have a good idea of what you looked like and all that so I can help you.

But if you don’t have good presence physically, if you don’t have good physical presence and you look young, there are a lot of easy ways to look old. One easy way is to actually build muscle. Eat a lot more. This is a common problem for younger guys especially if you’re Asian or coming from a Southeast Asian genetic mix, you’re probably a hard gainer as a young person. What you think is a lot of food is not anywhere near as much food as you need to eat. You need to eat like it’s your job. Take some mass gainers if you need to. I wouldn’t start with that, I’d just try to eat more. Eat 2000 calories more a day than you are. I’m just throwing that out there, I’m not prescribing anything. But if you’re eating 2000 calories a day and you’re not gaining weight, you should go see a doctor. There’s probably something wrong with your digestive system. Get bigger – that helps. Obviously that takes time but it’ll be good on all kinds of measures – it’ll be good emotionally, mentally and obviously physically, better for your health.

Dress older – I’m wearing a jacket that makes me look older. If I was wearing just a tank top or singlet, I’ll look young. If I shave completely, I’ll look young. If I let this grow a few days, I’ll look older. I have a young haircut, if I wanted to have an older haircut I could just do a more mature comb over. I could grow my hair longer, have it more medium-length and I’d look older. There are many ways to actually appear older. You can just Google it. Hollywood specializes in this. You can see a makeup artist and say I want to look older. You can see a stylist and say I want to dress older. You can do all of these things. These are easy. First impressions are easy.

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